2 posts from March 2008

There is a story in our local news today that is sticking with me.  Police were called to a home in Lewiston to a report of a woman attempting suicide.  It turns out she had fallen asleep while her infant son was in the tub and the baby drowned.

I have so much empathy for this woman.  I think I know the level of exhaustion that tempts you to lean your head back against the wall for a moment, or rest it on the edge of the cool, cool tub.  Were I in her shoes I suspect that my first impulse, too, would be to try and end my life.  It might seem preferable over living on in grief, guilt, and madness.

We are nearing 20 months in this journey (a drop of time in the bucket, I know), and what I have learned, more than anything is how American society is failing to provide the support mothers -- all mothers -- need.  There is no community of support, except for what you build for yourself, and if you are far from your "people" (as my Grandmother called them) you're basically unsupported.  I don't know if there is anything that can be done ... in some ways I know the Internet is making things a little better than they were five or ten years ago (at least a new mom can reach out to other people like her, if she has the access and the knowledge of how to find them).  There is an interesting article in the current issue of The Atlantic which touches on the idea that "the suburbs" as a building concept is sort of on the decline, and walkable "lifestyle centers" (what you and I might call "communities") are now the new hotness in the housing market. 

I find myself wondering if this trend, combined with the nostalgia that all us post-boomer and gen-x parents have for a time when children ran free and wild in packs in the streets, might in fact turn the tide a little bit, and that we might begin to recreate the idea of a true neighborhood where we cared about and looked after one another.  Its an interesting dream.

On the other hand, I'm still not really interested in talking with my actual, physical neighbors (although we nod and wave and they brought over a nice gift when E was born).  I just don't see having geography in common as having enough common ground to build a friendship over.  

All of which is just a long way of saying "I don't know what the answer is".  But I think a first step is to look around every day and see if you see someone who might need a visit, a moment, a phone call, a helping hand.  Or a nap.

Josh is home with the baby today.  I'm encouraging him to bake bread and do E's laundry.  We'll see how that goes.

Carter's brand sleepers are now on my "can't buy" list -- the feet are too small for E, even in the 2T size.

Last night just before bed (and I mean "as I picked him up to carry him upstairs") E demanded - demanded crackers and apples.  So, after some fussing, I gave in and fed him milk and bunny crackers and an apple.  He ate it all.  Every bit.  An entire half apple, about forty bunny crackers, and eight ounces of milk.  This, on top of him having chicken and green beans and carrots for dinner.  I sense a growth spurt in the offing, which is annoying since we only just got him into the 2T size and I have all this spring stuff I bought in 2T.  If he's going to be wearing 3T come summer I'm going to have to do some hardcore shopping.  Sigh.

For Christmas I bought some tickets to the Opera for my mother, and the performance is tonight.  She says she's coming down no matter what the weather is (I called and confirmed they are, in fact, still holding the damn thing), so I guess I'm meeting her for dinner at 5:45 and then we'll be seeing La Traviata at 7:30 pm.

I don't mind going to the opera, really.  Opera is fine, although I don't have the same detailed appreciation for it my mother does.  But the weather is icky and the timing is bad and all and all I find myself wishing it had been canceled.

I'm sort of weirdly pleased at all the blog time and mainstream press Gygax is getting in death.  (Of course, one might wish he had gotten this much recognition in life, but perhaps he got enough.)  Here is his NY Times Obit.

I think I might walk over to JL Coombs at lunch and buy some overpriced slippers.  I'm very tired of my feet being cold and damp at work.

Babies See Pure Color, but Adults Peer Through Prism of Language

My computer (Firefox) at work won't keep me logged into websites when I close my browser and its driving me crazy.  Our IT guy thought it might have something to do with the spyware protection, but that doesn't seem to be it.  I've checked all the obvious settings.  I've never had this issue with Firefox before.  Any ideas?